If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
it was like eating out sand paper
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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