oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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