Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I think people are normalizing furries
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
