Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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