i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
