Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
