I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
