I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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