I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's never too late to be topless.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize