obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
