Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
