I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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