well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
