he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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