we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
