Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
