Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
