my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
