if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
