we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
