But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
