I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
