you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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