ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
