let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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