Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
