I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
