Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
