We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
