She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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