yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
