Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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