Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize