i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
