That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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