Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
its liver damage thursday
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
