Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
