ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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