bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
