I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
sex in a hospital.. check
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize