She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My vagina is officially offended.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
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