His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
