I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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