fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My feet surprised me
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
