i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
