"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Do you still have your period?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
