i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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