you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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