she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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