he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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