Reggie can tackle my bush.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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