Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
