can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
