The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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