Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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